How to Write Wedding Vows: 3 Styles, Templates + 5 Steps

Short answer

Your vows are promises you can keep. Use one real memory, three specific vows, and a simple closing line. Whether you like short vows, promise-style, story-driven, or joint vows, this guide helps you. Octoom turns your doubts into a clear draft that still feels like you.

Why vow‑writing feels hard (and how to fix it fast)

Public vows are intimate by design: you’re saying private things in a profoundly public moment. Stress causes postponement, the “vows vs. love letter” debate, and worries about clichés, inside jokes, length, and tone. The fix: choose a format first, gather a few true moments, and write in your speaking voice. Structure beats inspiration.

Core styles and when to use them

Promise‑Style (classic, ceremony‑friendly)

Use “I promise” / “I vow” statements you can live by.

Template

Opening (1–2 lines): why you’re here.
4–6 vows: practical behaviors + personal warmth.
Closing (1 line): future‑facing commitment.

Example fragment

“Today, I choose you. I promise to listen with an open mind, to pause before I react, and to make time for us even when life gets loud. I vow to believe in your strengths when you can’t see them and to choose love—especially on the hard days.”

Story‑Style (authentic, emotional, memorable)

Open with a real moment, then land on promises.

Template

Memory (2–3 lines): turning point or tiny ritual.
Bridge (1–2 lines): what it revealed about you two.
3–4 vows: anchored in that story.
Closing (1 line): echo the opening; point to the future.

Example fragment

“The first time we burned lemon meringue and ate it anyway, I realized home isn’t a place—it’s you. So I vow to meet imperfection with laughter, to keep trying when things are messy, and to keep choosing us, every day.”

Minimalist (for private people or tight ceremonies)

One or two sentences—sincere, unadorned, complete.

Template

One promise that holds everything; optional second line.

Example fragments

“I am yours, and you are mine, from this day forward, until the ultimate end.”
“I promise to make our life together feel like home—and to protect that feeling, every day.”

Joint or matched vows (fairness, rhythm, symmetry)

How joint vows work

Use a shared text or shared framework for parity and cadence.

Template

Shared opening: “I choose you…”
Alternating vows: same structure, two lines each.
Shared closing: “We will…”

Example fragment

“We promise to be honest, patient, and kind; to leave space for growth and grace; and to hold this marriage at the center of our lives.”

Humor and inside jokes—warmth without losing the room

Practical guidelines

If guests don’t get the reference, they should still feel its warmth.
Sprinkle, don’t pour: one playful line amid real promises.
Pair humor with a behavioral vow.

Example fragment

“I promise to order cheese on your sub when you forget—and to remember the important things so you don’t have to.”

Make it speakable: length and structure

What to aim for

Time: 60–120 seconds (about 200–300 words).
Shape: short paragraphs or vow bullets; 1–2 lines each.
Voice: the words you use at your dinner table—not a thesaurus.
Readability: large font, double spacing, simple punctuation.

A 5‑step writing flow you can use tonight

1) Gather

List one turning point, two habits you love, one challenge you overcame, and three promises you can keep.

2) Choose a style

Promise, Story, Minimalist, or Joint. Commit to the format.

3) Draft fast

Write in your speaking voice. No polishing yet.

4) Trim and anchor

Cut clichés; keep specifics. Make every vow observable (“listen first,” “weekly check‑in,” “leave the last chicken nugget,” “share calendars”).

5) Rehearse

Read aloud once; mark breaths and pauses. Adjust until it feels easy to say.

Ready‑to‑copy templates

A) Promise‑Style

Opening: “Today, I choose you…”
I promise to…
I promise to…
I promise to…
I vow to…
Closing: “I will love and honor you, all the days of my life.”

B) Story‑Style

Opening memory: “When… I knew…”
Bridge: “That’s when I learned…”
Vows (3–4): “So I vow to…”
Closing: “As we did then, we will… for all our days.”

C) Minimalist

One sentence: “I promise…”
Optional second sentence: “And I will… for the rest of my life.”

Real fragments, lightly edited

Minimalist: “I am yours, and you are mine, from this day forward, until the ultimate end.”
Promise + humor: “From now on, I promise to let you have the last chicken nugget. I will keep listening, even when I think I’m right.”
Story → promise: “You kissed me behind the theater and said, ‘I promise.’ Today, I promise back: to support your dreams, to steady your doubts, and to keep choosing us.”

Delivery and emotion management

On the day

Read, don’t memorize: print with large font and double spacing.
Box breathing: inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4 before you start.
Pace: short sentences, natural pauses; period beats over commas.
Sightline: look at your partner; glance down only to anchor the next line.
Backup: carry a card; share a PDF with your officiant.
If you tear up: pause, smile, say “give me a second,” then continue.

Common pitfalls—and quick fixes

Fixes that work

Too long: keep 200–300 words; cut repeated meaning.
Too vague: replace abstractions with behaviors (“ask what you need and follow through”).
Too private: save deeply coded details for a letter; keep vows speakable.
Asymmetry: agree on style/length; share outlines with your officiant.
All jokes, no vows: keep humor near 20%; promises lead.

Bring vows back to everyday, doable love

Great vows aren’t poetry for its own sake; they’re a contract with your future. If a line doesn’t tell you what to do on an ordinary Tuesday, it probably doesn’t need to be in your vows.

How Octoom turns panic into a plan

Octoom in practice

Specialized assistants: Promise, Story, Minimalist, Joint.
Smart prompts: capture real moments; convert to speakable vows.
Tone controls: warm, playful, classic; guidance on length and cadence.
Easy editing: highlight‑and‑refine with rehearsal mode (30‑second read checks, pause markers).
Privacy‑first: your inputs shape your draft; your voice stays yours.

Start in five minutes

Quick start

Pick a style in Octoom.
Answer seven prompts (moment, trait, habit, challenge, three vows).
Generate a first draft.
Read aloud; trim to 60–120 seconds.
Print a backup, share with your officiant—and breathe.